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Friday, July 25 - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Well... I feel sick, not the sick that makes u stay in bed for a week with tissues scattered across the floor... I feel the sick... the other sick... like i'm disgusted with myself... :-(...Yesterday... and the day before... when I was home... I went into the kitchen and cut myself with the bread knife... It didn't look to bad so I did it a couple more times... now I have 8 huge scratches across my arm... they don't hurt... and everytime I look at them I feel depressed... A couple of people saw them today... I showed it to helz and she showd some of the others... I don't really care... but they didn't seem to react how I expected them too... run off and tell the counselor... thank god... but the part that worries me the most is... Last night... really late, I was crying so I went into mitchie's room, but I couldn't say anything without crying more so I stood at the door for like 20 seconds b4 leaving and going back to the hallway... The part THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST IS THAT HE COULD SEE THAT I WAS CRYING AND HE WENT TO HIS DOOR AND CLOSED IT WITH ME ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!! BASTARD!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY HELL!!!!!! But this afternoon we were all in the kitchen and my sleeves were rolled up and mum saw... and I hid it from her... and then mitchie tried to see... and I think he did... and he gave me this look... and I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!! I need someone to talk to... someone who will listen... someone who won't tell me what to do... someone who won't tell anyone what I say... someone who will let me cry... someone who will help me... damn this... I can't find ne1... maybe I'll look in the street directory... crumble | 7:24 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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