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Tuesday, August 19 - Better be enough room for this! Me: Food Glorious food...I like eating food... I think i'm a dude... coz I spit in ur food... Me: E glorious J... My name starts with K... There is another way... To spell it other than K... Mad: Kath Wilson is gay... she likes eating Hay... she was made out of clay... one a sunny day... Well... hehehehehe... i have like 10 minutes to blog... coz I have lots and lots of homework to be getting on with... Today I had... um... PE. we played basketball... I was in shorts and a T-shirt... in the morning... do u know how bloody freezing I was... and get this... you'd get yelled at if U wore pants from home... or a non-school jumper... I am drawing the line... right here... If u demand that we must play basketball in the freezing cold weather at least let us be warm... instead of freezing cold and shivering... we might break fingers... or worse yet... our nails... hehehehe We also had Computing today... we're dismantling the classroom so today we took down the blackboard... 6 of us carried it out into the corridoor... they coulda done it without me... it wasn't that heavy (*nose grows*)... and after doing that we played around on the net... something I was sorely missing... couldn't blog then though... nothing yet to blog about... coz that was 1st period... We had commerce 3rd... fun fun fun in commerce... 50 minute test... I didn't study... lol... I never study... problem was that I found it extreemly easy... you ask where the problem is... well... everybody else found it hard... not extreemly hard... just difficult... so I reckon I got like all the answers wrong and didn't answer the essay right or something... but I thought it was easy... I know all the information... the topic was on "Investing"... we got topick the essay question we wanted to do... out of 3... and everyone picked number 2... and I picked number 1... and there was like only 2 people in my class who did #1... and nobody did #3... so thats weird... Question 2 was like on "where can people invest. List the advantages and disadvantages of each investment opportunity" or something along those lines... Question 2 was like "You are applying for a job at a Financial Advice office and are asked to write a paper to a client explaining how the stock market works. You Must also compare buying shares with a savings account in a bank"... much more specific and much much easier... lol... Murry complained that I was sniffling through it... I WAS NOT!!!!!... anyway... I wrote everything I could and I knew all the info for the test but I just didn't have enough time to complete it properly... damnit... now we're starting a topic on "Moving out of home"... and stuff like that... fun fun fun!... What are they trying to teach the teenages of our century?... At lunch Joy and I went to the yr 12 area and sat there... nobody sits there... it's like away from the teacher's view... so the twins were all looking around and stuff when they came over to say 'hey'... I dont see the real problem... nobody has specifically said not to sit there... and we can't sit where we normally sit coz Yr12z r doing trials and stuff... grrrrrr... we're not allowed to sit anywhere near coz we talk too loud... crabby teachers... hate them all... :-p... anyway We also had geo today... swing lesson... it changes every timetable... between hist and geo... annoying coz the head of social sciences printed it wrong and both classes had hist today... so we had to go and have geo... and none of us had our books... soooooo annoying!!! But i didn't really want hist anyway... um... So we had boring lessons and learn't about something or other that i don't really remember... probably should... damnit... we all swapped pencil cases... and we had to swap personalities too... sometimes I think my friends r soooooo immature... but I fit with them so im not complaining... so I was Kate and was talking in an american bimbo accent... and it was really fun but I was pretty mean... kept pronouncing "Nirvana" wrong... hehehe... SORRY KATE!!!!!!!!! Um... not much else to say really... um... yup... thats about it... probably have something deep and meaningful to say next... let me think about it first... hehehehe... Formal... formal... formal... bloody hell... i dont even really wanna go... and every1s talking about it... grrrrr... maybe i can be a bouncer... nah... not tall enough... i swear i'm not short... and ppl say im tall... but my school has quite a low average in height... thats weird... people at my school are sorta short... hehehehe... well they r... but they make up for it in smarts... which reminds me... i still havta get back my geo assessment that we did last term... duno what I got yet... grrrrrr... hopefully I did okay... I have some maths homework to do now... bloddy internet distracting... I wouldn't go on it at all except for my bloody blog... which I have to update like every day... maybe i'll start doing it at lunch... it'll be warmer in the comp room thats 4 sure... oh well... I love writing.. or typing at least... I could do it for hours... just letting the words flow out my fingertips... it's something that u dont have to be good at to do... like u can write as much crap as you want... and in the 5 hours it takes you if you write a single sentence of gold it's something... and it's an amazing something... lol... i'm corny... but I love it... two passions... writing and music... music, of course, includes dancing and singing as branches of the topic... the good thing about blogs is that you can write as much as you want or as little as you want and people can read it or skim it or not even see it... what you write may only mean something to you, or a select few people... or person... it doesnt matter... blogs are open... you write what you want and I love that... and people can tell you what they like and hate and give you feedback which is so important... but something that it not nessicary... i dont think i can spell that... damnit... anyway... enough deep&meaningful stuff... How many times do I want to be someone else? Lots and lots... sometimes I wish I could just magically take someone's life and be them forever... always in the back of my head is this interest to know what someone else's life is like... to live it for one day... for someone to know what I do and how i think... i reckon I want someone to understand... understand what?.. everything... it's like I have all these great friends but something's still missing... i hate puzzles... and its like i want this thing to be found so bad... and when I get to the conclusion that 'it doesn't exist' then I start getting depressed... and I feel bad... and I feel hopeless and I feel like nothing's ever going to be perfect and that gets me... so now I feel depressed... which makes me feel like there's no reason for going to school... and I should just do what makes me happy... and I feel like i'm so far gone already that nothing'll save me... so now I feel like crap... which leads to me missing school... depression.. the cuts on my arm that have now scarred (i probably deserve that)... a drop in grades... and low self esteem... it's entirely my own doing... mum is happy to blame it on the fact that everyone at my school is smarter than me and that it makes me feel bad... thats why i'm changing schools really... well... why she wanted me too... I'm just going along with it... i can't go back now... and I'm so scared that i'll get into this new environment and i'll still feel bad and i'll be missing my friends who will have moved on and i wont be able to cope... im bloody scared... i dont wanna change schools... i dont wanna leave... i dont want anything to change... but the way things are going something's gotta give... i'm bloody crying now... bloody hell... wimp... did u know that 70% of women who excercise in front of a mirror feel bad about themselves and therefore their excercising is less effective... so to summarise... women who excercise without mirrors loose less weight... sorry... just a fact that i though might be intriguing... Mum just came in... asked me who I was blogging too... bloody hell... sometimes i swear i was adopted... hopefully from a rich family... a few weeks ago everyone was in the lounge room watching the footie... by everyone I mean dad, mum, & mitchie... it's annoying... dad is never home... and when he is he spends hours on the computer playing the same game over and over again... when he's not doing that he's complaining that he never sees me doing any bloody homework... what the hell does he know?.. he's never around... everyone likes the football... mum and mitchie were watching one of his documentaries this afternoon... I walked straight past and into my room... i like my room... it's comfy... it's MY room... which makes it special... I should so have a "keep out if u want ur nunchucks to come out in one piece" sign on the door... i wanna delete that last bit... it just came into my head... i dont actually wanna put that sign on my door... it just came out so i typed it... Mum's in bed now... it's almost 9pm... late... almost time for Angel to start... i miss angel... its not on nemore... *is sad*... I'm sick of catching the train everymorning... and I haven't been picked up at the stn. once yet... *is more sad*... *gets over it*... done... how come the world doesn't work? I mean it's like the whole thing is broken... my computer is pretty stuffed... the net at school never works... the world is dying in general... people just leave... it's bloody annoying... you get to the stage where ur like "what the fuck is the point?"... "why am I living if i'm just gonna die anyway?"... "Might as well get it over with"... and then we have these annoying people... who get to do amazing things with their lives... like sing in front of millions of people... and they just rub in the fact that you and I will probably end up at a car wash... spit polishing their bmw's... grrrrrr... have I written my gold yet? coz i've been here for hours... at the point of staying on here and writing all night then not going to school... but I can't do that... well i can but i shouldn't... i wanna... but i bloody well wont'... it's not late yet... I'm convincing myself... how bloody pathetic is that? Typing to myself... fuck fuck fuck fuck... the world is ending... bloody hell... I dont feel like doing nething at the moment... I have thoroughly depressed myself throughout this blog and am now intending to go to my room and be unhappy... bloody hell... Cause if its over let it go and come tomorrow we will see So yesterday, so yesterday I'm just a bird that's already flown away Laugh it up and let it go and when you wake up you will see So yesterday, So yesterday Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay Music doesn't help when I fall this far... the ground is above me... and its like there are magnets in my feet pulling me downwards... this is a long blog... good subject change... i think i spend 10% of every blog commenting on blogging and how I should be bloggin more or less or longer or shorter of what I intend to do on my blog... i think i might get a counter back... but I want a cool one... so i'll find one later... i got rid of it coz they changed all the counters to these stupid ugly things and didn't change them back... evil b's... grrrrr... I'm a bit less depressed now... from playing Solitare with Jj... lol... i've just forgotten... happens alot... but I cant miss school tomorrow... fuck it all... i'm angry... and totally over everything... and everything... and everything... and i just felt like repeating myself for dramatic effect there... I'm sick of everything... how weird is it that i've had this mood change so suddenly... well... by suddenly i mean i've been on the net for 3 hours... go me... lol... i gotta stop smiling... smiling is bad... people smile lots... but smiling is bad... i wanna be a hermit... live by myself with nobody around (ignoor the badness in that sentence)... and not talk to people... and get my food delivered so i dont have to go out... or otherwise go out to the local shops a huge grey t-shirt with holes through the arms, a straw hat with holes, and some short that look like they were work by someone big before me... then i'll give them change... never notes... lots of little pennies... and old dusty money... and every month when I venture out of my makeshift home to actually eat something i'll put 20c in the poor jar... no more no less... only one coin... and then i'll walk out of the store... grunting at the person behind the counter... One day they'll have a new kid from the local store working there... and I'll wait in the back of the store... hidden by shelves of canned goods... until my normal cashier comes to the counter... it may take hours... but i wait... and only then do i buy my food... One day a man will come to deliver a package to me... he'll be scared... he'll approach my house with caution, the front yard totally overgrown so no light reaches the house... he'll knock on the door... a piece of wood to his right falls off the walls... he jumps back but trys to maintain his composure... i take a while to answer the door... opening it slowly... he's suprised at how young i am... I look him over... not saying nething I sign for the package... two silver rings on the right hand... he says thank you and nods at me... I take the package and nod back, not saying nething during the entire interaction... I close the doors behind me and move back into my seclusion... End of my Life... story of my life... dont' like that expression... over it... blah... eenie meenie miney moe... my eyelids are drooping... I can barely see... but i dont wanna get off coz that means back to reality... and im happy here... well not completely joyful or nething... but i'm detached... and thats good enough for the moment... i bet everybody skim read this post... then reckoned it was too long so they're looking for nething interesting or nething that applies to them... well huh to u all... i am special... and I reserve the right to crap on about nething and everything I want... and u dont have to read this... if u dont want to bugger off... if u do want to... weirdos... *laughs*... scrap that... *cackles*... school is the same dribble every day... going to school... being at school.... being cold at school... going home from school... at one point in my life I looked forward to school... *points at self* weirdo... but that was ages ago... around the time my brother got his tooth punched out buy this ugly bast in his grade... one of my 'friends' brothers... sometimes it seems people are friends just because of circumstances... like i wouldn't be friends with ne of my group unless i went to my school... but that's not the point... the point is... 'who would i be friends with if i left?'... those people are the only people who are actually friends... it just seems to work out that way... I feel sick... i've been writing this for an hour... my eyes hurt and i feel like im gonna throw up... i dont want to be good nemore... i'm at the end of my tether... congrats to the people who are still reading... duno if i want u to be... but it's open isn't it... open to everyone... for everyone to read and think about and punch... yeah thats right... i can see you... punching the computer in frustration... dont break it... don't kill it... actually i dont give... kill ur comp if u want... oh... now u look at me... now ur paying attention to my words... coz i'm talking to you directly... wanted some attention did ya... well... grow up... stop playing games and dont read the bloody thing if u dont want to be ignoored... sorry... i get a bit funny after dinner... crumble | 9:52 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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