*
*
*
*
*
*
*
|
Tuesday, February 24 - take a piece of me. It seems that i am going to the Deb... it's like a formal but it's much more formal... the girls have to wear gloves and parents are invited and dresses must be white and everything... and we have to take dancing lessons... lol... I had decided that i was only gonna go if i got asked because i don't know many people and you have to go with a guy from the skool in the grade... so it appears i am going...Stephen called me today... he's been sick... haven't seen him since last thursday... he wont be at school till at least thurs apparently... it's his throat... he said he slept for 48 hours... i wanna do that... damn school... Yesterday I was invited to a birthday party... it's on thursday... today i was invited to a birthday party... on the 13th of march... today i also received a letter inviting me to a birthday party... on the 6th of march... and apparently kath and ej are having their party in march... on my brother's birthday... so i am officially a social butterfly... but i am also a broke social butterfly... damn presents... I miss everyone... have i said that enough? I put photos of everyone on my diary but that only makes me miss them all the more... sux to be me... right?... I want to make a movie... i had an idea for it... but it's totally biographical which is annoying because i want it to be special... but i'm thinking it's gonna turn into something down to earth and hoping it'll be totally relateable... coz the more i read people's blogs and talk to people the more i realise that behind our target pants or our gucci miniskirts we're all exactly the same person. Feeling the same things. And trying to cope with them in exactly the same way... Gossip is that Snitch asked Annie to the Deb and she said yes. But she thought that he liked her as more than a friend and he only wants to be friends and now she's all embarassed and runs off everytime he comes anywhere near. Apparently she's protective. I am waiting for my call from camp... but it's lights out in 5 minutes and i haven't got it yet... so i duno if it's coming... helani called yesterday... twas nice to talk to everyone... we went over the 20 mins... whops... anyway... miss everyone terribly...3 minutes to lights out... My IPT teacher saw the photos on my diary and asked if they were my friends from my last school... and i said yes... and he said "Missing them?" and i said yes. 1 minute to lights out... I'm listening to the group CD... and my photos are permanently out on my desk... talk about paranoid... I wanna watch the group video but i don't wanna start crying everywhere... lol... Rachel told me on the phone a while ago that the toilet she used the film her bit of the video in is now the 'wilson toilet' and it's the only one she uses... sorta gross but sorta um... well... sweet at the same time... lol... Oh wait... looked at my phone and it's 6 minutes to lights out... There's a really cool fanfic that I like called 'Center of the Universe'... i started reading it ages and ages ago... Right at the beginning... it was only 4 chapters then... a year later and it's 6 chapters... but it's good... the writing is good and the storyline is good... the characters are well developed and it holds you in suspense... not everything is in black and white like a lot of fanfics out there... it's not just about love and stuff... it's about other things too... friendship mainly... compassion... all that grubby stuff... New paragraph... I like the sound of that... Peter apparently wants to coach our basketball team... the team is sorta debating whether or not he should... he doesn't know how to play at all but he wants to buy a book... I reckon he should... he seems enthusiastic enough... and we don't have a coach... and if he's willing to put the time into coming to our games + helping us organize training i think it should be good... we do need some direction... I am on here at 11:13 at night because i am avoiding my homework... I am stuffed and now i'm depressed... well i'm in the beginning of depression... the part where you feel that your world is a small square closing in around you... and you think there's no way out of it... and i feel this way at the moment because i have a lot of homework and i haven't done it and it's due tomorrow and i forgot to write down the last stupid question so i can't answer it and i'm worried that i'll get busted... this is therefore causing me to not do any homework because i feel that i cannot do some of it... which makes my world feel like a square closing in on me... now... before i suffocate i have two options... i can either get off the computer and do my homework that I can do... or at least enough of it, and then go to bed... thus breaking out of the square and making my life a big world again... or i could fold like a napkin amd give up on my homework, fall into a heap on my bedroom floor, pump evanescence before i fall asleep and refuse to go to school in the morning... thus making my square that now contains my world completely detact from the real big world that i should belong in... my world will then float suspended in the middle of nothingness for a while, until i go to school again which will break my square and put me back into the real real world again... That is sorta what i fell... when i skip days of school... thats when i'm folding like a napkin... but normally after you fold you can get back up again and go on really easily... it just sorta replenishes you... and u start again rejuvenated... and everything is so easy... but after a while it just melts away again... the newness... and the square comes back... Whoa... talk about a rockin' honest post... well not honest really... well i mean that all my posts are honest... with a few exceptions... but it's been a while since i've given some of my soul away... so take your piece and if you want to come back for seconds just ask me. And I will kindly cut part of me away... until all that's left of me is a broken person. God... i'm a weirdo... but every word is written with thought and concience and consideration... crumble | 10:36 pm
|
|
aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
|
|
DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
 |
|
|
