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Wednesday, April 7 - "If you tell a generation they came from nothing, and have nothing to live for..." I just got home... after school mother and I went shopping... yes folks... shopping... two days in a row... and we're going tomorrow as well... i yearn for some clean clothers...Today's adventures in the city of materialistic objects was much more conclusive than yesterdays. Today materialistic objects were actually tried on and purchased... materialistic objects were tried on yesterday also... but the failure of those object to materialise in my size caused rifts in the balance of power... the credit card stayed lying in wait... Today i tried on: : seven... yes, count it, seven tops in JayJays : a top and a pair of jeans in another shop Okay, it doesn't sound like much... but for me... thats like running to Canada from Tazmania... straight across the water... Yesterday I tried on: : A Jean jacket : Two pairs of jeans : A top : A skirt : Another two tops : Another top : and i think there might have been another top in there... you can imagine my self esteem when all this trying on turned out to be fruitless because nothing bloody FAT (as in the past tense of Fit... but it has two meanings)... so as I came home yesterday, wallowing in self-pity i found it ironic that this also be the week we are having 'motivational' speeches at school... i am quite motivated to kill myself about now... but alas... there is light at the end of the tunnel... Fuck! It's a bloody train!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is a tapping at my door... a little girl is tapping... but no, i will not give in to her mind powers and unlock the door... although the force is strong with her, i hold all power and authority... "i'm young, i'm handsome, i'm fast, and can't possibly be beat" I don't care if she wants to play, or if she needs help with her comprehension... i'm having a fine time, hiding in my room, typing on my computer... ignoring the tapping... Bugger... I need to go to the bathroom... and i don't have the power cord for this computer... so i'm gonna be stuffed soon... maybe there's a chance i can climb out my window... but then to get to the bathroom i'd have to sneak through the family room and there's a big chance she'd be in there watching tv or something... damn this!... maybe the neighbours wouldn't mind if i used theirs... maybe... She's stopped tapping... but maybe she's lying in wait... like the credit card... she could be sleeping outside the door... or hiding around the corner... waiting for me to let my guard down and come out... NEVER! This is a game of Chicken! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The good thing about shopping... and it's kinda a very good thing... i dragged mother into Kmart... and we found something almost straight away... the Lizzie McGuire movie on DVD... but alas, alak, I did not purchase this movie... for I also found Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD... and I purchased that instead... But that is not even the amazing part... I did end up buying, on this day, two DVD's... now we know one of them was Pirates of the Carribean... the other way... none other... than... Tuck Everlasting! I've been looking for this movie since I watched it for the first time when I rented it on DVD from Video Ezy... But nobody sells it and even the smart DVD seller people have never ever heard about it... grrrrrrr... it was amazing... suddenly I found it... and only for $18... wooooooooooo! And mother and I found numberous copies of the Birdcage on DVD... the entire movie has been looking for that movie for a couple of years... grrrrrrr... since we got a DVD player... but mum found a copy just before Mitchie's birthday so I bought it for him then... now we see a stack of them... damn evil, unreliable, ununderstandable, marketing/shelving systems they have in this materialistic world... grrrrrrrr... kill crush destroy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today at school wasn't too bad... the same guy from Monday talked to us for a couple of hours about Addictive Behavior and about Motivation... he's a good speaker... he's nice to listen too... makes sense... made the same joke about a 'Crazy Bald Black Man' but that is aiight coz he is a crazy bald black man... hehehehe... We played Basketball after he finished speaking... stole the ball... felt kinda bad but got over it coz Basketball is fun... the guys joined in later... guys vs girls... girls won... the guys could do the dribbling but the girls actually got the shots in... hehehehe... Daniel is really tall so it's hard to get the ball off him... but we tried anyway... I was in a skirt and slip-on shoes so it was hard to play... but suprisingly, it was easier than in my jeans yesterday... my feet are killing me though... literally, they're bending up and trying to strangle me... nah jk... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got TROPFEST!!!!!!!! WOooooooooooo! Dad sent away to get it for me a couple of weeks ago and i'd just forgotten about it... but it came on this little black and red cd in this little black and red case... I think Kate might like to borrow it so I might watch it tonight and maybe let her borrow it over the holidays tomorrow... we have a Tropfest thing... hehehehe ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I actually did BUY some clothes today... I know amazing... I bought 4 tops... 3 in 1 shop and 1 in another shop... Three black... one red... what is the probability of the red shirt being bought in the other shop... work it out ppl and get back to me... i'm too lazy... hehehehe... and proud to admit it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anyway... i am going to rant... because blogs are pretty much meant to be ranted on... I am sick of being fat... chubby... horizontally challenged... a tiny bit bigger than the majority... that reason... is why I NEVER shop in Valleygirl... why I stay the hell away from Bikini's and why I avoid Surf shops if my legs can avoid them... I am a tool... I care so fucking much about what other people think of me... I absolutely hate fashion, yet i'm not one of those cool people with their own clothing personalities... I hate living in this fucking society where you get talked about behind your back if you don't wear the right sunnies *lie* or maybe if your outfit looks bad... Who are fashion designers to decide what society looks like... to make 9 year olds wear revealing clothes... I have never, ever shown off my stomach in public... or worn a skirt higher than my netball one... and yet, i am still a slave to fashion... The only place you can shop and NOT be a slave to fashion is Vinnies... and even there you're being a slave to previous fashion. I hate living here... i hate clothing, judgement... but you know what I really hate... amoungst everything bad and evil *a term i dont believe in* in this world... if you try to find the heart of it... to find the center cause... It's always people. Filthy, rotten, disgusting, horrible people... even the good people are stupid and terrible... this world would be perfect... If we weren't in it. crumble | 9:36 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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