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Tuesday, June 8 - singing softly How come when somebody you know dies every song you hear means something?In books they talk about losing someone to death as a stabbing pain through the heart, or as if something you know is gone and you ache to have them back again. I don't know about other people but I feel nothing like that. I feel no physical pain at all. I half expected a little piece of my heart to break off and float away into space. But it hasn't happened. It's not physical pain at all. It reminds me of addiction, I know it sounds completely off the topic but let me explain the relation. When you are addicted to something you are so used to having that thing around. When it finally hits you that it's not a good habit you decide to quit. But quiting is hard because it's something you love and enjoy and it just feels like you're depriving yourself of something good and you're not getting a reward. An inverse of say, doing your school work and getting a pat on the back. Does that make any sense? What is a funeral like? I dont want anyone to hug me. I don't want anyone to say i'm sorry. Maybe that's why I haven't told anyone. Because there's nothing they will be able to do to make things better. So I don't want to make them have to try. I don't want to put them in that situation because I have been put in that situation myself, with the same, or similar things, and I can safely say i did not enjoy it. Mum bought Heaven ice creams... i thought it was ironic. crumble | 11:44 am
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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