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Saturday, December 18 - confessions of a soup kind I'm struggling... but i think i made a new record yesterday (maybe it was the day before, i dont remember)... i went to bed at 1am woke up at midday... from midday to about three thirty i watched some oprah, some buffy and ate a teenie weenie bit of food... then at about 3:30 my parents came home so i jumped into bed and pretended to be asleep... at about 4pm i actually fell asleep... i slept until 7pm... hehehehehee... then i went to bed at 1am... lol...i've been trying to avoid the disappointment stage of thinking for a while... well since about the last week of school... i was disappointed with my maths mark, with my business mark (very much so)... i was okay with drama... english was a bit disappointing but i think it was deserved... ancient we didn't get back... and i was disappointed with IPT... so i'm unhappy... because they were my first assessment tasks of year 12 where everything counts and i'm doing badly... i've started out really badly, and this was supposed to be the easy term... and everyone around me seems to be doing good... really good... so i'm unhappy... I haven't been to my Pops house since he died... my dads dad... the first one... mum and dad go over all the time and so do my cousins and my bro has been over heaps... i haven't been over once... and i dont want christmas... because for lunch we're going over to Nan's where my other pop won't be and then we're having dinner at our house with dads side where pop won't come... and it's kinda scary... and it's kinda sad... and i have these little second cousins who probably won't remember him... and i don't cry because crying achieves nothing... Apparently i'm getting some more money from Pop's will... the way things turned out... they've sold the house, margaret gets $200,000 and the fridge and washing machine etc and the car which has exploded already... up at their farm... dad get somethingorother and i think the rest is divided between the five grandchildren... dad says it's a lot of money but i told him not to tell me how much... i don't want to know really... dont really care... Thats a lie, i do care... money is very important to me, i'm terrified that i'll grow up and not be able to get a job and have no money and nowhere to live or something.... it kinda scares me... but i don't want to know anything about money until i'm at uni... and over 18... I think i may move somewhere very close to public transport... somewhere where i don't have to drive, where i can catch a bus to the shops or a train into work or into the city or soemthing like that... i want to go to a cool uni with some of my close friends and hang around and learn and go to the library and work and do well at school... argh... doing well at things is extremely important to me too... i like being good at things... getting good marks... and most things i'm okay at... but school's getting more difficult lately... and hacking is getting difficult... plus i forgot my shiny new hacker, left it up at the farm with the goats and other farmy animals... I know my mum's disappointed with me at the moment... thinking i'm lazy and should be doing work... well work is freaking me out... right about now.. it's making me feel all freaky and scared and disappointed with myself so i prefer to watch season 3 buffy for the oz factor... Yesterday I drank half a hot chocolate, a can of pepsi (not the healthiest thing in the world i agree) and ate half a bit of 32 jatz... it's a dinner food... i didn't just eat 16 jatz... crumble | 1:25 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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