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Saturday, January 1 - welcome to my year How terrifying... its now January... argh, it's now 2005!! Thats kinda cool slash freaky slash scary.Okay so i've kinda been unhappy at the moment, for like a lot of these holidays, and the truth is i'm just scared. I'm scared of waking up and being 30 and being exactly who i am right now. I'm scared of doing the HSC. I'm scared of going to university. I'm scared of missing my friends. I'm scared of getting a boyfriend. I'm scared of falling down and everyone overtaking me. I'm scared of my parents dying. I'm scared of missing things and not knowing things. I'm scared of doing something wrong and getting in trouble. I'm just pretty much scared of everything. But we know i'm a wimp, that fact has previously been established. And we know there is no cure. Just a long program of steps. I was trying to make new years resolutions... stuff like : eat better : start a dream journal : wake up before 7am every morning : be prepared : dont leave things till the last minute : call one person a week to catch up : study more : buffy less : spend more quality time with my parents : save my money : get a job : maybe get a hobby : read more books : watch the news : help mum out around the house : learn how to cook Oh and i know i'll never keep these. But it's nice to have some goals i know i'll never reach to make my self esteem plummet. Went into the city last night... ended up sitting almost under the bridge watching the 9pm fireworks... left after that, didn't want to hang around the drunk smelly people... it was nice, to catch up with people from old school... kinda weird tho... overwhelming... did i write the blog i practiced about the whole 'wanting to cry' thingey? I'm not sure but i'll assume i did... anyway it was less like that and more like i saw them a little while ago and i'm seeing them again in two weeks so it's alright. Mitchie and Evan went into the city too so they came and hung around with us... argh gross flirting! Major grossness! Anyway them hanging around was still cool, they bought chips so i got to eat chips :)... hehehehe... played killer, and poker and 52 pickup... After the fireworks we went back to Megs house, mitchie and evan went to the other mitchell's barn or something to party, whatever... we had a swim at megans for a while, then stood outside dripping for 20minutes while watching the midnight fireworks through the open door on the tv in the downstairs room... it was good... then megs, rosie and i swam some more... hehehehe, then we watched Kate'n'Leopold and went to sleepies... my hips are really sore from the couch, everyone else should be worse, from the floor... hehehehe i got the couch... anyway watched Centre Stage this morning, played snakes n ladders, then mum drove me home and i've been trying to stay awake ever since... argh i'm tired... And so ends my life up till now... it's 2005 and it feels quite similar to 2004, interesting... hmmmmmmmm... crumble | 4:40 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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