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Wednesday, July 27 - This blog = selfish I want to tell you why I think that i'm so screwed up, so i'll give you a little insight into the way my mind works, and confuses me.If you are gloating - you are selfish If you are complaining - you are selfish If you are talking about yourself - you are selfish If you are really happy - you are selfish If you are unhappy - you are selfish If you have a party - you are selfish (thus birthday denial) If you disappoint someone (your parents for example) - you are selfish If you cry - you are selfish So I have all this trouble trying not to be selfish... it really screws with my poor little head, it does. One more time - daft punk Yesterday was the athletics carnival so of course I stayed home. I was feeling all glunky so I asked mum if we could go out for a drive or something and she didn't seem to keen but she came back and asked me if we wanted to go for devonshire tea at a cafe or something and I thought about it for a while and they said yes. I had to get ready so then we left and I was just sitting in the car. We got to the place and I just couldn't get out of the car. I just felt like I couldn't. I didn't want other people to be there and I didn't want to be asked what I wanted to order and I didn't want to be sitting in the open air and I just couldn't do it so she took me home again and I went for a walk down the bush for an hour. I've started to do that a bit, going walking down in the bush when I dont want to talk to everybody. It's not really walking tho, I go down Stage 1 and stop when I get to Stage 2 (yeah i've named the stages in the bush, there are four stages but stage four is completely massive and ongoing). So if you're looking for me and you can't find me I might be down there. I will generally have my mobile with me tho. Yesterday I went down in a shirt and slip-on shoes, not the greatest choice in the world but I was okay. Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen) - Quindon Tarver My share portfolio is worth $14,595.65 currently. My neopets share portfolio is worth 571,500np. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen… After (i'm trying to stop starting paragraphs with 'so' or 'anyway') my bush bash (which really involved me walking for 5 minutes and then sitting on a rock for 50 minutes) I went back into my room and sat there for a while, actually I was lying down on my bed, my bed is so comfy. Then mum took me to my old school for Maureens art installation. Every time I see all my old friends I just feel so welcome because they're always happy to see my and I get heaps of hugs and everything and it just really helps boost my self-confidence. Maureen's thing was amazing! It was really creepy and argh, I didn't watch much of video but it was really good. Very freaky girls! Lol. So then went home and uh... no wait, we went shopping because I needed some stationary, I needed reinforcers and two printer cartridges and a glue stick and lined paper and mother bought me a folder and clipboard (coz we've never owned a clipboard and okay I probably won't need it anytime soon but it's orange and amazingly pretty and i'll find a purpose for it). Then we went home and I attempted to do some work but I ended up not wanting to sleep so I stayes up till 3am watching TV. Ooh I watched Scrubs, then Less than Perfect, then the Discovery Shuttle launch live!, then Jetset, then it was paid 1hr tv advertisment time so I watched my recorded video of the 4400 until I was having trouble concentrating so I went to bed. When i'm angry I sleep with my door closed and locked, mum says it's dangerous and she's probably right but I don't do it often. I only like to lock my door when I want to keep people out. Not last night but the night before I was watching 'My big fat obnoxious boss' while waiting for Ally McBeal to come on in the lounge room, dad comes in, tells me to go to bed, turns off the Tv and nicks off with the remote. He told me to go to bed. So I went into my bedroom and put on my (brother's) Good Charlotte CD as loud as I could without going deaf and proceeded to go to bed. I'm such a bad child! It was about midnight at this point in time. But it was giving me the shits so I had to turn it off after Ally McBeal so I could go to bed. Oh I was watching the tv on mute at the same time. On scrubs last night Eliot got together with Dorian (is that even his name?, I think i'll him bambi) because he was a clown for her and she didn't even ask and they did the hanky panky then her boyfriend comes back (after they're finished) and tells her that something in her voice in the last phone call told him that she needed him without her having to ask so he picks her up and they go and do the hanky panky and Bambi's heart is all broken :( poor thing. Ive only seen Summer Glau in Two things before, Firefly and the 4400. And in both of them her character is crazy. Apparently she's in an episode of Angel but i haven't watched Angel yet so I wouldn't have a clue. And she was in an ep of CSI and Cold Case. She's really good at playing a crazy person I think. liked her more in Firefly, seemed happier. Watched 'Raise your voice' yesterday, before 4400. Omg I love the guy... the drummer/DJ guy whos name is Kiwi, lol. Because his real first name is Engelbert. Hehehe. Neway he's my favourite because you always have to pick a favourite character, if you don't have a favourite character you will rarely like the movie. Dad wants to disrupt my happy blogging so he can make some money on the stock market. Well we hope he'll make some money, it'll be depressing if he loses it all. Dats gotta huwt. crumble | 1:27 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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