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Wednesday, October 19 - Lightbulb. Got this chain email from Carolyn. Most of them are funny if you know the schools. I dont know which is my favourite. Which is yours?So, just how many aussie students does it take to change a light bulb??? We put the question to the students of Sydney, and here's how they replied: Monte Sant' Angelo Mercy College - Two. One to change the light bulb. The other to mind her spot in the canteen line. Scot's - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician. PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. Sydney Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure. James Ruse Agricultural - Four. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer program that controls the switch. Forest High - Two. One too change the bulb and one to figure out how too get high off the old one. Loretto Kirribilli - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour. Kings - Two. One to change the globe faster than anyone in the GPS one to show him around the school afterwards. Knox Grammar - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone and one to brag about it... LOUDLY. Cranbrook - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation. Ravenswood - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos showing that she does. Abbotsleigh - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than PLC's. Shore - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The second eight just need to be ready to back them up. Newington. - None. They're all too drunk to notice. Killara High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the North Shore Times about how she did it as well as any private school student. Santa Sabina - None. They're all down at Strathfield station having a ciggie. St Pat's, Strathfield - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel to impress the Santa Sabina chicks, while the rest compete "wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf" (Turf=Strathfield Station). Hills Grammar - Thirteen. One to change it. Twelve to smash the common room better than last years Yr 12. Thanks to Ven, Mosty Ilkka, Boers, Jamie, Jetson and Faz for the 6k worth of damage! Burwood Girls - None, that shithole looks better in the dark. So does Strathfield Girls by the way. Homebush Boys High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the St Pat's boys and 12 to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime. Strathfield Girls - Three. One will change it. The other will orally explain to the Homebush Boys about how to change it. The third will statistically demonstrate how they beat Burwood Girls in the HSC again. Barrenjoey High - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience - man! Joey's - Fifteen. It's not that one's not smart enough, it's just that they're a team and they have to form a lineout and get the backs into position. Tangara- None, if they turn on the lights everyone will be blinded by thier f**ing orange uniform, then their daddys will have to fight a court case for them. Redfield College - Sixteen.One to change it, 10 to get drunk and laugh at the guy changing it and 5 to pray that everything goes down smoothly. Barker College - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own the place and talk it up. Trinity - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. SCEGGS Redlands - Three. One to change the bulb and two to nick down to Bed, Bath and Table to buy a Jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours. Queenwood - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to commit unless the Shore boys are definitely going to be there. Mercy College - Five, one to screw it in, two tolaugh about the word screw and two to message the St Pius X boys about it. St Pius X - Three, one to get word around that the Mercy girls are talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it done in time to beat the Chatswood High boys to the Mercy party. Brigidine - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their sunglasses. Tyndale - None. They're all too busy at Westpoint Blacktown. Girraween High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make out. Riverview - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Gowings for new flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion. Ascham - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual...and/or a dyke. Kincoppal - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place afterwards. Patrician Brothers - None. All the homies wana stay in the dark like hard core ****. Sydney Girl's High - One and she was determined to get better results than the Sydney Boys. Sydney Boy's High - None. They didn't have to, the Sydney Girls insisted on showing them how it was done. North Sydney Girl's - One and she will make sure it was the best installation ever. North Sydney Boy's - None. They were off playing basketball. Tara - Five. One to replace the globe, three to figure out that she screwed it in upside down and one to phone her brother at Kings and him to send over his mates to show them how to screw the right way up. Hunters Hill High - None, Are you kidding they're all too bent! Kambala.- Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for it. Oakhill - Twelve. One to go to Towers to buy it. Ten to go down there with him to hang out at the bus stop and look out for 'McTool' and 'Bralf'. And one to Change it. St Aloyisius - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses. Loretto Normanhurst - Four.One to change it. Three to make sure her cardigan is still wrapped around her shoulders and her ribbons from her head and bag are still tied in a bow. Leichhardt High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country, one to arrange delivery because his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose mate, Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic the electrician because he owes him a favour and make sure everything is done cash. Cheltenham - None. No one can climb the ladder cos they're skirts are too short!!! Mount St. Benedicts - Three. One to hold a mirror up for everyone to look at themselves in. One to change it and one to make sure the oakhill guys dont label them as a canine airport again. Sydney Uni - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest. Epping Boys - Nah bruva we gotta check out the chicks in ma fully sick Honda! Belmore Boys - Do they even know what a lightbulb is? Canterbury Boys - None, they're waiting for their male counterparts, Canterbury Girls to come and fix the light for them. Wiley Park Girls - HAHAHAHAHAHA....AS IF any of them are at school today!!! Bankstown Boys - JESUS PLEASE do not bring us to have to see those hideous faces ever again. Bankstown Girls - ditto dicko. Endeavour Sports High School - These felas can't even spell lightbulb... These guys can change their favourite cheer pretty easily though. Cherrybrook Tech -Two. One to change it and one to make sure that everyone has hugestuffed toys hanging off their phones. Shalvey High - None. They're all hiding their HSC marks from the Sydney Moring Herald. Castle Hill High - None. They're all at the school captain's piss up. Terra Sancta - One. Ther is only one to change it because the rest are making out. Galston High - None. There's no power out there and they're all doing each other up. Mosman High - None. Theres no money to replace any lights anyway! Hornsby girls - Five. One to screw it in and four to hold her up coz they're too pov to buy a ladder. Gilroy College - None. They are all piss scared to go inside their "haunted" building. Byron Bay High - Who really cares? It's not like we use the place anymore now that surfing is part of our HSC. William Clarke - One Hundred and Two. One to pretend he is unstable by smashing the old bulb, one hundred to pressure the new one into being painted black so as to be unique, and one to replace that one after it takes place in a mass suicide. Pacific Hills - Three. One to cry to God to take the old ones soul to heaven, One to take the new one to learn about Hillsong, and one to tell the other to to just fucking put it in and stop praying for God to do it. crumble | 3:41 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos
FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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