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Tuesday, December 30 - hopefully i'll call them tomorrow... I wrote a blog post... but then I did something bad to my computer... and i had to restart it... so I lost the post... but it's okay... coz it was only two paragraphs... one of them being a story... a story i was writing... it's okay though... it was a crappy story...blahblahwoofwoofandjesusbroughtaceserolehitasistabackmeowheatflushedpilotcream411ontheDLredout risingshortiesinloveharbourlightsloveinveinfuhgedabouditborrowedtimefreaknationcoldcomfortprodigy dawgdayafternoonbootwodesignatethisbag'emproofofpurchaseradarloveexposuregillgirl loveamoungtheruneshello,goodbyeartattackthekidsareaiightpollolocohaveniamiamacamera mediumisthemessagesomeassemblyrequiredtheberrisfordagendabrainiacsheaintheavy. Don't ever forget about things that have happened... sometimes life is short... sometimes life is long... and sometimes life is perfect... this is none of those times... life is not short now... life is not long... and life def isn't perfect... but life is life... as it happens, when it happens... and there's nothing we can do about... well... we can stop life... other peoples and our own... I hate it when people talk other people out of suicide... it's only because everyone sees it as such a negative thing... if someone's talking about themselves in a bad way or something whoever's listening feels obliged to say that they're wrong... because thats the nice thing to do... but i wish i was more bloody honest than polite... i wish i could agree with someone dissing themselves... and then i wish i could go the step further and say that it doesn't matter... oh... sorry... this is a teenie weenie bit confusing... prolly coz it's so early in the morning... i better go to bed... maybe... sometimes soon... neway... I don't think there's anything bad about suicide... convincing someone not to kill themselves is like convincing someone to do a Journalism degree instead of an art one... it's none of your fucking business... I am two different people... one sits in front of the computer and write the things she wants to really say... the other walks around the shops scared of people and hangs with her friends being polite... neither are really me... i know the second one isn't me... but then why do u keep doing it? why can't i change?... i'm not sure if the first one is me either... i know i would like it to be me... but i know it's probably not realli... so who am i??? I forget what i look like... when i'm talking to someone i forget what i look like... and then if i see myself in a mirror or something i realise what i look like and i stop... because i forgot i looked like that and spoke like that... and i so don't want that to be me... so i retract a bit... and my self esteem introduces itself to my shoes... well... this post is very uplifting isn't it... hmmmmmmmmm... oooooooo i talked to lots of people on the phone in the past few days... i talked to lissa and sol and rosie (like 3 times) and the twins and ej and my friend erin... and her mum for a bit... and mitchie... and angela a while ago... and yeah... weird huh... lotsa people everywhere... and i havta call 3 people... i was gonna call them today but we got visitors over for dinner... and they left at 11:30 so it sorta didn't work out... grrrrrrrrr... but hopefully i'll call them tomorrow... sometimes my post titles are a bit weird... but most of them make some sense somewhere... probably in noddy land... oh well... i like noddy land... gonna live there one day... actually i might not... i have a feeling i'll try but i'll get stuck in the doors and will end up being squashed between the eternal plane and noddy land... crumble | 12:25 am
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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