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Monday, March 22 - open, closed, locked. I'm reading Malini's blog... have i told everybody that I love all their blogs... my one contact with my old life... well... blogs and megan... i message megan all the time... actually she messages me more often than not... and we chat on the phone... it's really good... i haven't been a phone person for a while... i used to talk to joy on the phone for hours and i still can but we don't really anymore... and i know i should have called her this weekend but i wasn't feeling too crash hot...I am screwed... i am an asshole... i am a stupid imbicile... I didn't go to school today... coz i'm fucked in the head... i had a spack attack last night... panicked... freaked out... totally got myself 'into a tizz' as mum calls it... anyway it happens sometimes.... the worst part is that i'm not out of it yet... i don't want to go to school tomorrow... I had to drop in at school this afternoon tho because we had dancing for the deb and it was the first practice and i couldn't leave Stephen to dance by himself... so I went and we danced and I stepped on his toes more than he stepped on mine... the dance is suprisingly hard... or i'm suprisingly unco... I'm going to the dance... with my old school... rosie is gonna buy me a ticket... it should be good... get to see a couple of people i haven't seen in a while... i'm also going to see the musical... should be good too... megan bought me a ticket... they're allocated seats! how weird is that... half the seats are sold at each school... on either side of the hall... lol... i'm looking 4wd to it tho... it should be really good... I'm still fucked in the head... We lost basketball again on friday... did u say that? have i blogged since then? oh well... anyway... we lost again but there were 5 of us there and 4 of us scored a goal each... which was really good! I got to meet Steve, who is Sarah's bf... he doesn't go to our school but he's talked about a lot so now i can put a face with a name... I think we have one basketball game left before the season is over... i was thinking about quitting and not playing next season but i've decided that i like playing way too much... the team played a really good game last game... and i think we'll get better... so i'm gonna keep playing... i love it... even though we lose every single game... it's fun... I don't wanna go to school tomorrow... I'm listening to Spike's song from the musical buffy episode... Stephen sent it to me over msn... i really like it... it's on loop so it's going round and round and round... hehehehe... it'll be annoying in a while... oh wait... it already is... Spike's accent was slipping on one episode I was watching... he must keep his Britishness! It's really good... makes him very cute... When I grow up... I want to be... I want to be something amazing... I wanna be able to go to the supermarket and buy my groceries and not be worried about how much i'm spending and having the correct change... I want to be able to relax... I want to be able to go to the movies and have enough hands to buy a drink and popcorn and give my ticket to the ticket person without dropping everything... I want to be able to take a plane ride and not be freaking out about my luggage and finding my way through the airport and finding a taxi and my apartment and being late to my new job... I dont want to have to be at a certain place at a certain time unless I want to be going there... I want to enjoy what work I will do... I want to be able to go out of my apartment for a walk and come home 8 hours later and not be worried about my parents freaking out or missing out on school... I want to be able to go to work... enjoy it... come home... maybe hang out with some friends... i want to walk down the street and say hey to people that i know... I think i'm asking for too much... okay... I want a shiny car... with good gas mileage... Mum is going down to Berra to go to a dinner with dad on Wednesday night... well... she's leaving in the morning... and mitchie is at uni... so i'm going to be all alone... kinda sad... mum wants me to stay at the Maxwell's but i dont want to... i can look after myself... i can call people and chat maybe then... yeah... she won't bug me so i'll chat on the phone for 4 hours or something... sounds good... I'm sooooooooo fucked in the head... Things to buy/Birthday List : Pirates on DVD : Tuck Everlasting on DVD : Mini cooper : Trampoline : Digital video camera : iBook (not like that's gonna happen ever) : Bowling Pin : Flask : Very very very cool cigarette lighter : Tattoo : I think my brother would kill me if i got my belly button pierced... i think my parents would actually be okay with it... well... they'd hate it but they'd bite their tongues... mitchie on the other hand... he'd probably kill me... i wouldn't do it anyway... who's gonna see it... lol... if i had a nice stomach i might get it done... but no... I want a tattoo... but i duno where to get it... or what to get... i'd wanna get something done on the underside of my wrist... but thats the veiny part where it's dangerous... but i'd want it there... nothing big... something small... but something i could live with forever and forever... Oh... and I want a motorbike too... if i knew someone with one i'd try and borrow it and learn how to ride... i could get my L's on it... i think it'd be really cool to ride one to school every day... talk about the social status it would bring... a week of rumours 'who's bike is that in the carpark?'... and then finally u walk out one day from class and walk up to it and get on it and everyone's like 'whoa' she's a chick... and then everyone bows... Lol... the 'hot cowboy' on mikey's blog is really funny... lol... FUCKED IN THE HEAD!!!!!!! *points to self* ME ME ME!!!!!!! Ninemsn got rid of their chat rooms and it took me about a year to notice... I feel bad... coz yahoo chat rooms aren't even close to being as good... hmmmmmm... aol mayb... i haven't been in a chat room for a long long time... Seriously i think there's something wrong with me... i've been going strong for a while now... about 6 weeks... and now i'm not feeling good... i'm kinda feeling redundant... no... thats really not right... when i walked to the hall this afternoon and everyone saw me they actually saw me... they actually noticed that i'd been missing and they noticed that i wasn't at school... i wasn't actually hoping for that attention but i was sorta kinda happy that i got it... Fucked in the head! I'm avoiding doing homework... by blogging... i'm secretly hoping that it'll get so late that i can't do it and i'll have to go to bed and then i won't go to school in the morning... but mum'll freak out at me... i know she will... For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death, behind unintentional injury and homicide. In 1999, more teenagers and young adults died from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, and chronic lung disease combined. Those statistics are american... from this blog i've just started reading... it's called the suicide diaries... i duno how factual the actual thing is... this woman writes it... she's the only one in 3 generations not to attempt suicide... she sort of retells her family history in the blog posts... it's really sad... her brother tried to kill himself... he shot himself... but he lived through it... died 10 years later in a car crash... Truth be told... i would never ever ever ever really think about killing myself... i don't have the guts... and i have too much hope... and it might hurt... i just get sad... sometimes i wish somebody would come and kill me... but... no... Read this And then this And then finally this Thats kinda sweet i reckon... arghhhhhhhhhh i am not an old softie!!!!!!! But it is sweet... it's so cute... anyway... thats another blog I read... i haven't read it much but it's really good... easy reading... The Simpsons website is kinda cool And how weird is it that Futurama is on channel 7 and the Simpsons is on channel 10         It's working... it's 11:20PM... extreemly late... too late to finish my homework and go to school tomorrow... and whoa... perfect... i feel a little sick... maybe i should stick my fingers down my throat and throw up... or maybe i should do it in the morning...  I've told you... i'm fucked in the head! Very much so... i'm warped... retarded... stupid... adolescent... i'm screwed... i'm officially fucked... i need somebody with sense to pass on some... or at least tell me i'm normal... If there is such a thing Paradise Hotel is on... hehehe... that show is funny... i've only watched it once and a bit before... i want some tv show to send me to a beautiful hotel with my own room and a nice pool and stuff... how cool would that be... although the sleeping with everyone might not be too good... ask me again in a couple of years... People kinda suck... I am not in the best mood right now... i'm not depressed or anything... pleh... depressed... no such thing... anyway i'm not depressed... i'm just sorta... sorta stubborn... sorta feeling a little bit angry at everyone for no apparent reason... sorry to all those who receive a backlash... i'm just being a freak... a bastard freak... and a not nice one at that... It seems to be the day for self-mutilation... well... not really... i just said that oh yeah u do that all the time yeah u can talk shut the fuck up no u u started the whole bloody conversation yeah but that doesn't mean it's my conversation. You're the fucked up one I am bloody well not. I'm the only sane one in the vacinity Oh yeah... using the fucking big words and making urself sound like a bigshot. Well i've got news for you. You're nothing but a pissy fuckwit with nothing to offer anyone so crawl back into your hole and rot away ... crumble | 9:27 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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