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Tuesday, November 23 - jus bitchin' bout my dad "Haven't you got an assessment tomorrow?""No I don't, and stop yelling at me" "Why shouldn't I yell at you, you're a difficult child." I don't know what i do wrong... I got home from school got changed, ate something, while he was sleeping, I worked non-stop on my english assignment until 8:30 when I tried to print it and it didn't want to work... it's still stuffing up... and for the past 20 minutes i've been on the computer checking blogs and the like... I know i probably should have finished english and gone straight on with my homework and study and all that but I felt like i needed a break... It's not that bad... it's just constant... "don't you have work to do?" "when's your assignment due?" "how much have you done?" "this is the year that counts you know" "don't you want a good UAI?" "shouldn't you be working" "Get off the computer"... It doesn't help... i mean he should have said something like "how's english?" "finished! Wow thats good! Need some help fixing the printer?" And I understand that today is his birthday and I didn't really get him anything... but i've been busy and he never likes the presents i buy him... they're always returned... and he's a great father and all that and i never go hungry and i get everything i need and most of the things i want... and i go to a private school which i know is expensive... when i was little i learnt musical instruments and went to dancing lessons... i did everything i wanted... money wasn't important... But now from him i just feel this constant pressure... he's smart, really smart and he thinks that i'm able to be even smarter... if I get 99% he wants to know what i got wrong so next time I can get 100%... I know i'm not pretty, i know i'm fat, so i have to be smart because there's nothing else for me to do... but i'm just not that smart... i can't do everything, i can't learn everything... i would love to be able to but i just don't think i can... He never asks about my friends... about things that happen at school... he asks if i have work and if i've done it and how i'm going in class... and I know thats probably the actual important part... but it would be nice if i thought he wanted anything to do with me besides school... I shouldn't complain, he's a great dad... i do live the perfect life... where i get everything i need and i can do anything i want and i'm looked after and cared for... i shouldn't complain... i just always make big thing out of the little things.. crumble | 9:07 pm
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aoi's design from SCRATCH © 2004
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DOB: 8th of October COUNTRY: Australia & Kangaroos FAMILY: Mum, Dad, Mitchie, Claudia PETS: Tom the Sexy Beast FEELING:   
likes... buffy the vampire slayer, greys anatomy, glass house, kumars at #42, spicks and specks, west wing, angel, gilmore girls, dark angel, firefly, stargate, lord of the rings, star wars, the simpsons, crossing jordan, tru calling, ally mcbeal, bradley whitford, dominic monaghan, david wenham, rupert grint, james masters, anthony stewart head, elvis, hilary duff, evanescence, good charlotte, the whitlams, machine gun fellatio (the band), my baby tom, writing, singing in the shower, playing pool, netball, basketball, exams, tidying, chinese food (lemon chicken, sizzling steak, chicken and sweet corn soup, san choi bow, spring rolls, prawn chips), my old friends, my new friends, my other friends, my box, my papyrus, my faerie picture, mount caules story. 
 dislikes... bugs, honey, insects that she thinks are poisonous (all of them!), marmalade, studying, not knowing things, not being able to splel, the english curriculum, vacuuming, the beach, being on stage and not knowing what to do, shopping, gross things, vegemite, olives, dark chocolate, flower smells, the hsc, beetroot, my boobs, pickles, people picking their noses, half-eaten food, playing drama games all lesson and not doing any work, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed studying, my father nagging me to study when I am indeed doing something other than studying, losing money, being fat, when the tv times change and you don't know, mornings, being lonely. |
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