Tuesday, January 24 - Edit Html I've been having trouble sleeping for the past two weeks, really bad in the past couple of days. I've never had trouble sleeping before and it frustrates me to no end because i'm tired, i'm exhausted but I just don't seem to be able to actually go to sleep. I even went swimming today in the hope of tiring myself out but it hasn't seemed to help. I even read tonight, but the book wasn't thrilling and that didn't tire me out either.Sometimes I feel like I belong in both groups, and sometimes I feel like I belong in neither. Probably because I belong in both I belong in neither. It's the whole 'you can't be in two places at once' kinda thing. Today was an example of not feeling like part of the group. Daniel's farewell party at Chris's house, was nice to see everyone I suppose. I duno. I just... I just feel a bit unnoticed sometimes which makes me less likely to talk loud which makes me more unnoticed. So essentually i'm causing the problem myself but still... One of the (many) reasons I love Snitch is that at the party tonight, when he arrived, he made special journey to come over and give me a hug. He's wonderful. I havent seen him in ages and I miss him heaps. I did stuff when I was little, well younger I mean. I did ballet for a number of years and tap for a while too, I've played netball since I was 8, but I used to do it through school and play indoor at the same time (so thats like 3 teams), I was in the band, I played the clarinet and the piano and used to be in a couple of different choirs. I used to do debating with school and I was a librarian in year 6. I went to a kids club for a while and even went to a youth group. Netball's the only thing i've stuck with, not that i'm any good at it really, but I have to give it up next year, since i'll be away at uni, unless there's a uni team but like i said, i'm really not very good, and i wouldn't want anybody to have expectations. when I went through my blog fixing all my old pictures I ended up deleting about 10 posts which were nothing more than broken picture links, so my number of posts ended up going down. This is post number 708. Kinda big I reckon. I'm trying to find out how to enrol properly and pick my classes and all that buzz for uni but the website is absolutely spastic and I have no idea what to do. I've got a code and login but I actually have no idea what to do next... and i think i left it in the car so... I think I musta been a cute kid because I was class captain in kindergarten. I don't remember which years but I was class captain 3 times in primary school. Completely stuffed my school captain speech which was rather strange because I hit high school and suddenly got okay with public speaking. And anyway, I didn't know enough kids in younger grades to work the whole school captain thing. My mother thinks my father worked with the head of the IT department at the uni i'm going to, I wouldn't be suprised. I'm found three different dates for my university's orientation program. Wonderful. It's like trying to work with a monkey up your nose. Oh well if I was a mature age student i would be all set, it says their orientation is on the 13th. Details will be posted here when available I'm already at the point where i'm thinking "I really don't want to do my course" so i'm kinda worried for my work for the year. It's a lot of money if I end up failing or dropping out, and there is no way my parents are gonna foot the bill. They're already talking about selling up the house with me and mitchell both at uni and buying something smaller, possibly by the ocean. Dad has this weird theory that he and mum should spend all their money before they die. Tired yet? No. And it annoys me, no, it irritates me. I've ALWAYS been able to sleep, usually I sleep way too much, but now I just can't get there until at least 3 in the morning. Yesterday when I logged on at 2AM Stephen and Jasha were both on msn, Jasha was drunk and stephen wasn't feeling well so they were both very chummy to keep me company. Stephy asked me today if I ever felt like just screaming. I answered no because I never really have felt like screaming. I'm not into anger really. Sorrow seems to be more my thing. Normally I sleep better when the cat's on my bed... it makes me feel kinda appreciated. He's asleep there right now, all stretched out, probably moved right into the middle by now so by the time I return he'll have hogged all the covers. Nothing worse than a cover hogger. Mum wants to buy me a new doona, I said no. Argh, I already have two. One is purple, and one is black and white. Okay so the black and white one is starting to look a bit old but still. Her logic is that i'll need to take a doona down to uni with me. All good. Then she asks what will happen if I don't get it dry in a day in the cold weather, so she says I should take both my doona's down just in case. All good. Then she says that there'll be nothing to put on my bed up here. And I say that thats okay because nobody will be sleeping in it. Then she asks what I'll sleep in when I come back, and I say I can borrow sheets and stuff off the bunks. And she says what if two people come to stay and dont bring sleeping bags in the two week mid semester break, or 6 week (including exam) mid year break when I happen to be home. And I sigh. And she tells me that her and father have FOUR doonas. Honestly. I don't understand my family sometimes. Mum looked up my HECS fees, argh university is expensive. Not really looking forward to all that money being taken out of my bank account. I have lots of bank accounts. I'm just soooooooooo cool. I find I can have whole telephone conversations with some people where I don't even have to be present. You know those people who call you about some random thing and you end up talking for an hour and a half about absolutely nothing. Not nothing as in my conversations with Joy, at least they contain some substance... well sometimes. I'm talking about those conversations where the other person just talks about their life and repeats the same stories they told you last time you saw them and doesn't actually ask or listen to what you have to say. I dislike those conversations. It's 2:30 and my eyes are threatening to fall out of their sockets. But I doubt i'll be able to sleep when I get to my room, it's just that the screen is so bright. If you're in the mood for something funny go down my left menu and click on the blog "Geese Aplenty". I don't check it regularly anymore but I looked at it the other day and it made me laugh when I wasn't so happy. So snaps to Greg. Mum and I went to Nans today to let the cleaners in because she had to go out. Nan has foxtel so we watched Roswell, finding Nemo, and the Day after tomorrow... okay only a bit of each since we were only there for an hour and a half. If I had cable... *sigh*... I would probably blog less, but only coz my ass would be sitting in front of the tv at all hours of the day. Hmmm... sassy. Do you write your blog posts on "edit html" or "compose"?. I always write on edit html because otherwise i feel a bit like a sell out, same reason why i've never used dreamweaver or frontpage to help with my blog template, okay so I didn't design it in the first place... but still. |
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